Memoirs Of A Lala

The 'Poyo" war cry!

noreply@blogger.com (L @ Leon Ng) — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 17:30:00 +0000

I created a new "war cry" at work to mock those who are excessively trying to show off.

I call it The 'Poyo' War Cry.

It involves me and the rest of the broiler/ fryer crew (BFC).

It goes like this.

Me: We have *name* in the house!

BFC: Poyo!

Me: We have *name* in the house!

BFC: POYO!

Me: We have *name* innnn daaaa houuuuse~~~

BFC: POYO!!!

So far, those that have fallen victimt to The 'Poyo' War Cry are Kah Hoe and Habib.

So... Who's next? XD

Awakening to a new power!

noreply@blogger.com (L @ Leon Ng) — Tue, 08 Jul 2008 14:46:00 +0000

My bitterness and sadness ain't all that bad!

I sorta awoken a new "power" within myself.

A fighting spirit!

A will to crush any adversary that stands in my way.

Whether I win or lose is an entirely different matter.

But I will fight to the very end!

And I'm probably gonna kick J's ass if I ever see him out in the streets!

The war has begun!

I am fucking ready for a fucking fight right now!

FUCK YOU, J!

Go to hell!

I'm ready for a fucking fight!

noreply@blogger.com (L @ Leon Ng) — Thu, 03 Jul 2008 17:34:00 +0000

I am so fucking pissed right now. Pissed at what?

Pissed at myself, and pissed at that swine!

Which swine?

Let's call him J, shall we?

I hate him!

Why is it that when I fall in love, someone comes along and steals her away?

What the hell is going on?

What the fuck did I fucking do in my fucking past life to fucking deserve this fucking shit?

So damn pissed!

I hope he chokes on the next piece of tofu he puts in his mouth, and drops dead!

Either I die, or J dies first!

Damn him!

Damn him to hell!

I'd gladly drag him to hell with me, and torment his pathetic soul for eternity!

ARGH!

Go to hell, J!

If I ever find out that you mistreat her, or hurt her in any way, I'm gonna make you suffer!

Hurt her, and I'm gonna make sure you end up like me! Someone who has lost a reason to live!

Don't fuck around with me!

You bastard!

Some "interesting" facts about myself...

noreply@blogger.com (L @ Leon Ng) — Tue, 02 Oct 2007 13:41:00 +0000

I was just sitting around today, bored as nuts, when I picked up my phone, and made good use of the camera function. Here's my favourite picture!

I know I look a little rugged in this picture... Must be my hair... But I don't know why... I just like this picture...

Then I started thinking... Is there anything interesting about myself? I mean, look at other people... They have certain characteristics that would make them special in a way. What about myself? I thought and thought... And finally, came up with a few "interesting" facts about myself, that some might find amusing (but most won't...)!

FACTS:

1 ~ I have 3 piercings... 2 on the left ear, and 1 on the right... One piercing for each time my heart gets badly broken.

2 ~ I frequent 2 stalls, and the workers there call me "Magic Man". Obviously because I entertain them with magic! XD

3 ~ In numerology, my compatible number is #8.

4 ~ I wear a #8 pendant across my neck...

5 ~ People claim that I look younger than 20...

6 ~ My favourite colours are red, violet, and black...

7 ~ People think I'm crazy when I tell them about a certain analytic ability I have. So when I see something bad about to happen to them, I refuse to give them warning based on what I analyze.

8 ~ People who try so hard to force their views/ ideologies/ advice/ philosophy/ etc. on to me, and expect me to follow what they say, because they think they are always right. They really spoil my mood. If I wanted/ needed any of their help, I would have asked!

9 ~ I have a friend whose personality is ALMOST like mine... I call her my female-half, and her name is Ying Wei! XD

10 ~ People have given me so many nicknames for as long as I can remember, I lost track of some of them...

11 ~ I dream of becoming a famous chef some time in the future... But there will always be a few idiots who will try and shed cold water on my dreams (You people know who you are! Thanks for stabbing me!)...

12 ~ My left eye usually opens smaller than my right eye...

13 ~ I am a sweet addict (especially when it comes to chocolates or lollipops)!!!

14 ~ Although I say I hate to smile, that isn't true. I only don't smile often in front of certain people.

15 ~ I love to make people happy with my magic!

16 ~ I have 3 pet sisters (Michelle, Justine, and Sze Mei) and a half-brother (Danis)!

17 ~ Horror movies and ghost stories really give me the creeps, especially at night when I'm alone in my room and I think about the horror movie I watched/ ghost story I heard...

18 ~ I can be very sentimental ;-)

19 ~ Contrary to popular belief, I AM STRICTLY STRAIGHT!!! XD

20 ~ I like to take risks at certain things SOMETIMES. Although it may be disappointing if the result doesn't turn out as expected, but when things really do turn out well, the reward is usually very satisfying! ^^

Well, I guess that's it for now. 20 "interesting" facts about myself. Now you know me better! ^^

Things people do because they think it's cool...

noreply@blogger.com (L @ Leon Ng) — Thu, 27 Sep 2007 12:34:00 +0000

But it's NOT!

I'm sure you people have seen many people do things these days because they think those activities are 'in', or 'cool', or whatever they call it... When the fact is, those activities are damaging to their health, or reputation, or both. And to put a cherry on top, those activities AREN'T cool. Here are a line-up of activities which I personally think should be banned:

Ecstasy pills
Now I'm pretty sure many of you know the effects of ecstasy pills, and ow they make you swing like crazy to lousy music after you take them. And haven't there been enough warnings about the negative effects of ecstasy pills on people's health? So why do people still take it? For fun? To get that sense of being 'high'?
NO!
The reason why people take it is because they are mentally retarded! No, seriously... Anybody who swings around like a nut is bound to be mentally retarded, whether under the influence of ecstasy pills or not. So we can safely assume that whoever who takes these pills are mentally retarded, and should be shot for the good of our society!

Cigarettes
Well, I don't think I need much elaboration with this one. We see smokers all over the place these days, puffing away like they own the air around them. Even if they want to smoke, at least have some consideration, and not blow it at the people around them.

The other day, I was at the bus stop, and there was this faggot who was smoking, and always blowing in my direction. I got so pissed, I rolled up a piece of paper, lit the end on fire, and started sucking and blowing the smoke in his direction. He was pissed at me for doing that, but couldn't do anything about it because he realized he was doing it first. Moron.

I know sharing is caring, but please, keep your smoke and whatever crap you blow out to yourself!

Shisha
Now, Shisha. More and more teens and young adults these days are taking shisha because they think it's fun, or cool because their friends are doing it. Well, it's not. It's gay! Owh, and for those of you who don't know what is a shisha, click here. In fact, shisha is more dangerous compare to smoking cigarettes. And I know that most people are taking shisha out of peer pressure. Well, real friends won't ask another to shisha.... Geez......

To prove to you how gay shisha can be, I made a video with an imitation shisha to show you just exactly how gay it may be! Warning. What you are about to see may shock you.

There! proof enough that shisha is gay! Not convinced?! Here's another picture!

Idiot

Yeah, that's how gay it is. What are they gonna do next? Lick the mouth piece? Gimme a break!

Well, that's it for now. I will write more, when people start doing more things which they think are cool, but actually aren't. Till then, I bid ya'll adieu

Owh, and if you're an ecstasy pill addict, cigarette smoke, or shisha sucker, and you're pissed at me for writing this, then prove me wrong, and continue doing that thing you do! I shall not be held responsible for any negative consequences that may befall you. You have my full support! All the best! ;)

Q & A, emo style...

noreply@blogger.com (L @ Leon Ng) — Sun, 23 Sep 2007 12:46:00 +0000

I'm gonna cut a long story short. I'm emo right now, so I'm just creating this random piece of junk to fill my time and get my mind off things. So if you don't like random things, do me a favour by shutting up, and leave. For those of you who have the time to kill, read on:

10 reasons to be emo (past, present, or future)?
1) Heartbroken
2) Lonely
3) Jealous
4) Pissed off at someone/ some people
5) I have to take the blame for my friends' screw-ups
6) Friends emo at me for no damn reason
7) Heartbroken
8) Music CD unreadable
9) Streamyx problems make me unable to go online
10) Heartbroken

10 favourite movies (not in order)?
1) Secret
2) The Phantom Of The Opera
3) The Lord Of The Ring: The Fellowship Of The Ring
4) The Lord Of The Ring: The Two Towers
5) The Lord OF The Ring: The Return Of The King
6) Perhaps Love
7) Final Fantasy 7 Advent Children
8) Death Note
9) Death Note 2: The Last Name
10) Secret

10 Favourite music (Not in order)?
1) Face Down - The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus
2) In The End - Linkin Park
3) Numb - Linkin Park
4) Leave Out All The Rest - Linkin Park
5) What I've Done - Linkin Park
6) Bu Neng Shuo De Mi Mi - Jay Chou
7) Jian Dan Ai - Jay Chou
8) Qing Tian - Jay Chou
9) Suicide Note - Disagree
10) I Disappear - Metallica

10 things to do before I die?
1) Compose a love song
2) Play the song and dedicate it to the girl I love
3) Improve in my culinary skills
4) Learn French
5) Learn to be a more patient and friendly person
6) Improve in my conversational skills
7) Be a somebody to everyone (I'm tired of everyone seeing me as a nobody)
8) Scream at the top of my voice
9) Go swimming in the sea again
10) Get a girlfriend

5 romantic spots to bring my girlfriend to?
*Question postponed, because I don't have a girlfriend*

7 Favourite foods (Any type)?
1) Sashimi
2) Grilled fish
3) Steak
4) Lollipops (It's a food too, so don't ask me stupid questions)
5) Cherries
6) Kentucky Fried Chicken
7) Strawberries

5 Favourite hang out spots?
1) One Utama
2) Sungai Wang Plaza
3) Berjaya Times Square
4) Sunway Pyramid
5) My room

5 Reasons to commit suicide? (Don't take this part seriously)
1) Refer to the first question of this post
2) Heartbroken
3) Emotionally hurt... Badly...
4) Lost the reason to live
5) For fun

10 material prized possessions?
1) My laptop
2) My PS2
3) My electric guitar (The Fairytale Of Tears: Despair)
4) My classical guitar (The Fairytale Of Tears: Sorrow)
5) All my magic gimmicks and equipment
6) My knifeset(s) and all of the contents
7) My mobile phone
8) My stereo
9) My wallet (Sentimental value)
10) My Zippo lookalike lighter

3 things I hope to be remembered by when I die?
1) An entertainer that brought smiles to some peoples' faces
2) My Sharingan
3) A somebody with value in life

Well, I'll end this post here. I might make something like this again when I come up with more questions... Until then, sit down, and shut up.

The reason why I suck when it comes to girls...

noreply@blogger.com (L @ Leon Ng) — Thu, 06 Sep 2007 14:31:00 +0000

I'm sure many people have already had this thought in their minds: "Man, that Leon seriously sucks with chicks. Try as hard as he can, he'll never get a girl".

Painful as it is, I can't help but admit that it's true. Well, I thought long and hard, and I've come up with a few reasons to why I'm a sap with chicks. They are as follows:

1) I have no specific talent/skill of any sort
Yeah, this is quite saddening. I don't really have much of a talent that would mean something to people. Okay, maybe I do have my magic, but I take magic more as an art than a talent. Apart from that, I doubt I have anything strong to back me up. Some people say I have a talent of assembling things (E.g. Ikea furniture, miniature models, etc.)... News flash! Assembling is NOT a talent. What about cooking? I am taking Culinary Arts after all... Well, I'm not too sure about that, but perhaps I could work on it. I have yet to discover a talent or skill which would make me stand out... But until then, I'm the same talent-less me...

2) I have a problem with maintaining conversations with the girl I like...
Probably my WORST flaw when it comes to chicks... I always had a problem with maintaining conversation with the girl I like... And my conversation topics become very limited and narrow... This flaw has really made me hate myself very much... The problem with me is that I'm too afraid of taking risks when it comes to the girl I like... I'm afraid that if I talk too much random stuff, I might annoy her. But at the same time, I'm afraid that if I don't talk at all, I won't make any progress... I get emo very easily every time I think about this flaw... Why am I so afraid? How is it that other guys seem to be so natural and smooth when it comes to talking with the ones they like, that they could keep it going and going? And why is it that I can't do the same? Sigh... What is it that I'm missing? I squeeze my brain dry trying to think of how to improve my conversation skills, but nothing seems to come to mind... I ask people for tips on how to improve, but all of them keep giving me the same answer: "Be random with your topics"....

I probably need help... Psychiatric or Counseling help, perhaps... Get to the root of this flaw of mine, and eliminate it...

3) I'm too harsh
To cut a long story short, I'm just gonna jump to what I'll try to do. I've been quite a harsh person, and sometimes I don't even notice it, because I've gotten quite used to it. I should start being more of a gentleman, in terms of actions and speech. Less vulgarity, and try to be more of a funny guy.

4) I take things too personally
Sometimes I take things too personally, even if it was meant to be a joke... Which is probably why my college buddies call me 'Emo Kid'. I either get pissed easily because of certain things I hear, or jealous and sad over certain things I see... This has got to stop... If I go on like this, I'm gonna lose more friends than I gain... But then again... How? It's an emotional thing... Changing this one's gonna be a tough one...

5) I don't look good
The title says it all. I don't look good, and that contributes to me losing out when it comes to chicks. This, I'm afraid, I can't do anything about... Maybe I should wear brighter clothes to draw their attention away from my face...

6) I have a problem with looking into peoples' eyes
Although eye contact is important during conversations, I have this problem with maintaining eye contact. I mean, I do look at their eyes every now and then, but it won't be long. Just an occasional one second glance, then I throw my concentration toward some other part of a person's face, usually the mouth or chin... Had this problem ever since I was a kid. Used to be worse, but slowly improving.

Speaking about this, reminds me of a funny incident that happened sometime back. I was talking to Kah Mun (my college pal), and was looking down on to the floor. Then she suddenly asked me: "Hey Leon. You like to look at breasts, right? Because everytime you're looking downwards when talking"...

Damn... Thinking about it, looking at the floor could look like I'm looking at something else to other people, and it can be quite suggestive to girls... So nowadays, I found myself trying my best to maintain eye contact completely, or throw my point of vision on another object completely... I must beat this flaw as well...

Well, these 6 are the main ones. There are some minor reasons as well, but I'll try to fix them. As for these 6 reasons, have to find a way to overcome them. I'm probably gonna need all the help I could get.

(If you people plan to write something to mock my flaws after reading this, then please do me a favour, and save it!)

Stick that in your blunt and smoke it!

noreply@blogger.com (L @ Leon Ng) — Tue, 21 Aug 2007 13:30:00 +0000

Let's face it. The order of the world is changing. We live in a world where ugly players reign supreme when it comes to getting girls. And apparently, girls love it! Think I'm talking rubbish? If you have an online community account like Friendster or Myspace, just scroll through your friends lists, and see for yourself. Without fail, you will stumble across multiple profiles with pretty girls hugging ugly guys.

Well, I ain't gonna complain about this, if it weren't for the fact that most of these guys are players, and girls, for some reason, start thinking that their relationship with the guy is gonna last forever. Maybe those guys are putting something in their girls' drinks? Apparently so, because they seem to be brainwashed by those guys.

And come the time when some better girl comes along, these guys leave their current girlfriend, while making it sound like these players were never wrong in the first place. And because of guys like these, the balance in time and space has been disturbed, and good guys are no longer needed. And because of that, every other girl is affected into being skeptical about every guy, be it the players, or the real men.

Don't get me wrong. I don't have anything against guys with girlfriends. It's the PLAYERS I'm talking about.

Usually when I bring up this topic, girls will say "But Leon! You're only jealous because those guys have a girlfriend, and you don't! Maybe it's something you're doing wrong, because you're ugly and you're STILL single, which proves your theory wrong!".

Well, I do have some points I would like to point out:
1) I know I'm ugly. Thanks for rubbing it in.
2) I said ugly PLAYERS have girlfriends. Not ugly MEN.
3) This phrase the girls use against me is usually said a few seconds AFTER I bring up this topic, and a few weeks BEFORE their boyfriends leave them. After that, when I come across them, they will pretend they didn't see me, and walk in a different direction with a red face and a shattered ego.

I'm sick of these people. So I tell ya'll what I'm gonna do. If you are a player (+ an added bonus if you're ugly), you can expect me NOT to acknowledge your existence.

That's what I'm gonna do as of today, so you can stick that in your blunt and smoke it!

( I know this post is gonna raise a few issues with some of your guys and girls out there. I apologize. And if you're one of those ugly player guys reading this, I hope you choke.)

I know you people are idiots. Ya'll don't need to crowd public transport entances!

noreply@blogger.com (L @ Leon Ng) — Tue, 07 Aug 2007 14:26:00 +0000

It doesn't take a lot of effort these days to know that most people are idiots! Why? Well for starters, Ever noticed how when you're one of the first people in a crowd waiting for a bus or train, and when the bus or train finally arrives, what do the other retards do? That's right! They start crowding the entrances, even before the passengers can exit the bus or train. Here is proof:

The sardine-in-a-can contingent!

This is the moron who rammed me aside so he could get in line... Stupid idiot!

What sort of image will these people portray to foreigners, especially when it is Visit Malaysia year 2007?

These retards all look like a bunch of sardines trying to force their way into a can. If I could set a law, it'd be that these sort of people be denied any form of public transport, bank loans, public facilities, their houses, their cars, their possessions, their property, their first born, and their soul!

Either that, or they should be punished by being hung upside down on one of our many lamp posts along the streets for an hour or so, wearing nothing but their skin. That ought to make them remember.

I hate sardine people!

I got your Harry Potter right here!

noreply@blogger.com (L @ Leon Ng) — Fri, 20 Jul 2007 12:18:00 +0000

Harry Potter and the Order Of The F&B

Harry Tommy and the Goblet Of Vodka

Harry Elaine and the Philosopher's Webcam

Harry Mischa and the Chamber of Clothing

Harry Moron and the Emo

Harry Aniq and the Tobacco Stick Of Fire

Harry Hand-whisk and the Gothic

Harry Kah Mun and the Philosopher Stoned

Harry WTF??

Harry Down Under and the Goblet of Vegemite

Harry Cartoon Face and the Deathly Afro

Harry Aaron and the Deathly Laughter

Harry Tasha, Harry Sherina, Harry Andy, Harry Wai Kheng, and the Prisoners of Lala Land

Harry Shane and the Danial Radcliffe Look-alike Hairstyle

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Girls who smoke turns me OFF!

noreply@blogger.com (L @ Leon Ng) — Sat, 14 Jul 2007 14:00:00 +0000

I know it's right when I say that girls who smoke are a serious turnoff!

Like, seriously! It's quite a normal sight to see a girl smoke and stuff, but why do girls do it anyways? As if it isn't bad enough already, they have to go puffing and blowing the smoke around like how kids blow bubbles. Whenever I see something like that, I become 'mandul' or impotent for days! Such sights are serious turnoffs in my dictionary!

I personally don't smoke, and would advise people to do the same. And even if they really DO want to smoke, leave it for the guys! You wouldn't believe how many pretty girls I've seen who smoke. Is it supposed to be cool or something? I dunno... Why don't you tell me.

As of every situation, there is always a worse case scenario. Have a look at the picture above. Not pretty, and smoking. YUCK!!! No, I don't know her. I found her picture in Google when I was looking for a suitable picture for this post. But if I did know here, here would be my advice to her:

1) Kick smoking.
2) Get a face job.
3) Cover up! You're chunky and disgusting!

Well, yeah. That's it for now. Remember, chicks: Leave the smoking to guys! Better yet, to both guys and girls, male and female, gays, lesbians, and bisexuals, heed my advice: Don't smoke at all!

Ciaoz,
Leon @ L